So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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