if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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