Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
