I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
