I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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