Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
