I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
