I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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