Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
