Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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