That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
birth control should be required to get into college
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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