So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
