Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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