that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
