She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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