your thong is hanging out like whoa
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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