there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize