we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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