He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
