You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
