Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
