hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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