he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
