I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
