i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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