Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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