Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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