Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
