it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
