I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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