I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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