I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you made out with another girl for some wings
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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