i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
