Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
