an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize