You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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