That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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