Don't make out with my wife yet
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
