Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
