Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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