I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
