living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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