I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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