I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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