I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
