thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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