it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you inspire me to be a worse person
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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