yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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