btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
