i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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