What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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