I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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