You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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