I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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