He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
