I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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