i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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