I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
