idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize