i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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