I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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