Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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