check it out our google latitudes are spooning
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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