i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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