jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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