i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
